When I forget this note, something goes wrong. This time I would like to add No FALSE expectations.
The lesser expectations you have about someone or something, the happier you are. In fact, there is a very fine line between balancing expectations with goal setting and outcome projection for short/medium/long term.
For example, when you expect something from someone and they don’t really meet your expectations - don’t get upset on someone - the expectations were yours.
When you expect something and do not get that experience you projected in your imagination, it upsets you.
Goal expectations
I don’t say do not set expectations - they are part of our life journeys. I just say that do not expect something that you imagine in your mind that is far from reality (that is in conjunction with other external factors). As human beings, we love to project various things that sometimes cross that dream vs reality line. When it happens and, obviously, your expectation doesn’t have anything close to reality, this is gonna hurt.
False expectations create self-lie. You can lie to yourself until it is wrapped in a sugar-coated package.
Right expectations can set you far further. Right expectations project draft plan towards your set goals. You know where you want to be and where your goals are; you can project some expectations based on inputs taken from reality assessment and goal setting. Outcomes will be pleasant, especially if you exceed expectations.
A situation might be different with set expectations towards other people: we all expect one to behave a certain way. This is influenced by a number of reasons: background, beliefs, character, preferences, temperance, experience in the past, etc.
Living in such a dynamic world, we forget to acknowledge that we are different people and we all have different mindsets. One normal thing for you can be completely unacceptable for someone else. We forget to be tolerant about it - it creates disappointments in each other. In reality, no-one owes anything to you or someone else. Your life - your expectations. If they are not met by someone, remember that the expectations were yours, not theirs. Of course, if there was something set between a group of people, it is a different story and this is not applied to you. This thought is more about brand new partnerships and relationships between people.
It is a combined thought, however, I’d better break it down for two other blogs as I think the expectations we have in our professional life - career and work - are treated differently in our personal life. That way you might be able to define that healthy balance.
Say, in your career, you must be clear about KPIs, goals, setting up a certain plan and hit those numbers and that target - you expect it to happen and aim to exceed the expectations.
However, when we apply this rule to personal life, it does make it harder to execute. We are all different - our thoughts and mindsets are different. This fact requires a certain level of flexibility from each of us and, failure to do so, creates disappointment and frustration.
Instead of creating this “what I expect set” look at a way to become more observant. Meeting a new person, observing them, they are like white canvas. Starting a new project, observing various factors around it, and how it can be treated. If needed, get some external knowledge to build up the right way to treat it and then reflect on it internally. In reality, 95% of solutions for any problem or situation are already in your mind.
Shorter version of my blog HERE
Have a nice expectation,
Ange xx
Any Qs: angelinasha20@gmail.com
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