I do believe and always work towards having autonomy with my opinion. It is important to share an opinion and listen to what someone is saying, however, always create your own judgement and engage your own critical thinking.
To me, I must admit that my life would be so much easier if I had a less adventurous ass. Sometimes, I wish I could just shut up or stop doing what I am doing to avoid escalating a problem.
Same with your personality. It changes; it evolves but it also can choose different forms based on your lifestyle and experience.
When it evolves, it grows. It is great. You do something for your self-development: you read, exercise, learn new skills, and experience new stuff. It helps you to evolve.
Everyone loves to say that you should do something for your self-growth. It is true. There is one side effect that is less spoken though.
When you progress and evolve, you become better than you were yesterday. What does it generate in you? Narcissism, snobbism and a feeling that you’re better than others. This is where the problem is..
When you do constant work on yourself and your personality, you do become better in all aspects of your life but it can easily make you feel that you are better or more entitled than others. That’s why you need to have some sort of mechanisms that keep you ACCOUNTABLE.
I think that conversations with people who you value but who also have an ability to have an Open Talk can be one of the solutions.
I am blessed to a handful of people who can verbally slap me in my face and say “Wake up”. I am GRATEFUL to have them. They are those mechanisms in my life that help me to keep track of myself.
In other words, I am not afraid to lose myself if I know I have those regular awakening slaps. These people can tell me what they see about me, how unbearable and snobby I became and I’d better stop being a bitch.
It helps me to stay the HUMAN I am proud to be. The human that has compassion for others, gratitude for good stuff, ambitions not for myself but for seeing others succeed and passion for people and things I love.
If you don’t have someone in your life who can be objective and cold hearted when they speak to you, you’d better look for someone. In the worst case, get a mentor who can tell you this stuff. We don’t notice our little demons until they grow too big in us and start damaging our lifestyle and quality of life…especially the quality of life of someone around us.
A person who can be that mechanism can be anyone: your relative, friend, partner or colleague. It can be your mentor. However, not all these people are qualified to be that mechanism if they are not capable of speaking the truth openly and objectively without a fear of hurting you. You have to hear unpleasant things. If you don’t know how to do it, you’d better learn it.
Sometimes a person can be super supportive of you but do not have the ability to do an Open Talk. It can also be a cultural issue. Living in Australia for 8 years, I realised that people here are really struggling to speak their minds. They are raised to be “polite”, say "sorry" and "thanks" when it is needed and when it is not required. It makes people hesitant to tell you the truth.
Find people who keep you ACCOUNTABLE to stay who you are. Or if you’re reading this blog and you need someone, I can give you the best Straight Talk, I love it.
Ange xx
Photo Credit: Frank Debabneh - Insta @dfd_photography
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