Giving people an opportunity to choose and make their own mind about you sounds like the right thing to do these days.
We all have some responsibilities in life: related to family, work, daily commitments, citizen duties, etc.
You cannot go to work and ask someone to do something for you that fits only your skillset there. It is your responsibility. You might share a project but the responsibility of delivering still sits with you. The higher your status, the more you have taken on your shoulders (and as such, the more you have achieved so far), the bigger scope of your responsibility.
Same with your mindset. You are responsible for making an opinion about someone or something. How often I see situations when people are asking their friends and family members questions that lead towards building a certain opinion about someone or something. You might ask a few thoughts but stop making someone responsible for your brain. Have a thought or a pool of answers in your mind and then ask people to help you by injecting their own experience and points of view.
Taking myself as an example. When someone asks me if I am a Good or a Bad person (which was the case fair a few times - just a straight looking question, love it), I respond with the same question in return aka psychological push back ‘What do you think?’.
They have already made up their minds and are trying to test me (good luck). Or they expect to receive that sort of ‘confirmation’ about something they got from their friends or family members (read above).
Instead of looking at producing your own thought, we tend to get it processed by someone - it is easier. This concept has been around for a while: it is just easier to go to a fast food shop instead of getting something more complex but better for you.
I am a Good person if someone perceives it that way, values and respects one’s attitude, thoughts and behaviour. I am a Bad person if there is an internal clash of values or external opinion’s influence. That’s it - make it simple.
Stay right to your values and who you are. It is good to be mindful of other people but it is important to stay truthful to yourself; changing yourself to fit other’s expectations and norms will eventually hit your identity.
Do not accept someone’s offer to change your identity and who you are to just fit somewhere. The right/your people won’t expect you to be someone but yourself, best people won’t expect anything at all, and the rest will eventually move on leaving something that you should be grateful for: good and bad emotions, life lessons, smiles, thoughts, laugh and cry moments, and temporary happiness or disappointments that made you a better person.
Things fall into your perception about them. It is not relevant what good and what bad about them - the only thing that is important is how you are ready to react when you interact with them.
Therefore, when you forget to input your perception, you lose this personal objectivity in your thoughts and as such an external influencer might decide things for you.
External thoughts are as relevant as yours though, however, they need to be nicely blended with your personal thoughts, feelings, observations and projected outcomes.
Love,
Ange xx
Collaboration Shoot with Julia Gomina Photography
Motorbike related content can be found on @Angela_alina Instagram and Angelina #Motoblondie vlog
Contact for collab or work via the provided links or directly via angelinasha20@gmail.com
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